Andy: "Mayberry Rules for a Happy Life": 1: Don't play leapfrog with elephants; 2. Don't pet a tiger unless his tail is wagging; 3. Never, ever mess with the Ladies's Auxiliary.

BARNEY: Rule No. 1 is: Obey all rules. Rule No. 2 is: Do not write on the walls, as it is very hard to erase writing from walls.